Sometimes I attain a false sense of control in the game called “life”, other times, I lose a grip on that control, and other times I want to throw my controller across the room.
We’ve all been there – the “rage quit.” Pardon my French but, it can also be referred to as the “fuck it” button. But lately, I’ve realised that this anger isn’t something to hide; it’s the very reason I’ve been more active here. Ctrl Alt Breathe has become my sounding board – a place to process the “random idiots,” the snotty work emails, and the moments where the world feels like it’s conspiring against me.
The Stranger in the Machine
Whether it’s a stranger cutting you up on the commute or a faceless troll online, we often allow people whose opinions we don’t value to dictate the quality of our day. Stoicism teaches us that we cannot control the “provocation,” but we can control the “reaction.” As Marcus Aurelius wrote:
“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength.”
— Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 4.3
The Practice is Loud
I’ll be honest: I still get mad. I still get upset. If I’ve been posting more lately, it’s because I’m using this site to work through those exact feelings in real-time. This isn’t a “failure” of the practice; it is the practice. It’s directing that raw energy into focus.
An Unexpected Mirror
Recently, I met a dear friend I hadn’t seen in a while. Without knowing about my deep dives into Stoicism, or for that matter this site, they described me as “Stoic.”
It was a profound moment. To have someone I trust recognise that quality in me – even when I felt I was losing my way – is a sign. It’s reminded me that my authentic self is patient and optimistic, even when the surface is turbulent.
Hooray for me.
Today’s Practice: The Pause
My site’s name is a play on the Stoic approach: Pause. Reflect. Act. Today, I’m going to practice the pause before I react. Obviously, I should practice this every day, but, today, I’ll put in an extra effort. I’m going to turn the bubbling heat of frustration into the sparkling light of focus.
Are you with me?